the writer

nose in book,
always hiding

pen in hand
pen to paper

always a writer,
always writing.

Words never failed me
always my savior.

A shield
a sword
whatever I needed

my words never failed me
I was never defeated

graceful, and seamless, my transitions would glide
such detailed descriptions, no facts could hide

a tool I could use, and I learned how to choose them
to soften, or harden, conceal, or confuse them.

20 trains of thought running at once
a storm of words constantly whirling

Some call me a cynic
or wise beyond my years

They call it a gift.
this burden I bear

careful with that venom tongue, girl
take a breath and think

find the right words
to say just what you mean,

and nothing you don't

grew up knowing the damage that words could cause
you can change the whole meaning with even just an unintended pause.

a misplaced adjective, or expletive
an unsupported clause

a quote taken out of context
an examination of my flaws

you can't take them back
once they're out.

they may linger
they may fester, and haunt

because words can be weapons
and I carry a knife

always a writer
always writing

always a fighter
that doesn't want to be fighting

be careful what you say
because you may be right.

most people don't notice
they speak without care

say what they think
you want to hear

sometimes the trains move faster
and most can't keep pace.

so i ask a lot of questions
while my thoughts race

But my words never failed me
they're my constant, my safe place.

this storm of thoughts
my safe haven

my words they've sustained me
the only home I've ever known.

til your eyes
they bore through me

and 20 trains collided

this raging storm went quiet

a feeling swept through me
I couldn't describe

a sensation so foreign
I wanted to hide

I stammered, and stuttered
I giggled, and blushed

asked the wrong questions
gave the wrong answers

Could talk to you for hours
and never know if  I made sense

My words had never failed me
but they failed me, for you

and I wonder if you even saw me
if you ever knew

where my words failed me
your's rang true

and it was like you were inside me
like you knew it all

all the pain I'd fought through
you'd been through it too

and the darkness inside of me
you had it too

the tortured fears
the unshed tears

and I couldn't explain it
I couldn't describe

but you said what I was thinking
and I glowed like the stars in the sky

my words were failing
and couldn't come out right

the silence confused me

my jumbled thoughts turned into colors

swirled through the night

I painted like an artist
and showed you with a child's pride

You never hinted at uncertainty
you never hinted at the truth

the false version you presented me
was like a dream come real

my galaxy
my sanctuary

 and I forgot myself
i lost myself

in what I thought was you