Yet another scar

Here i sit.
I tried to reserve excitement for a while. Keep my hopes and dreams at bay...but they snuck in despite myself, because you made it feel safe. 

My longing to avoid this pain kept me safe from it for so long.
but then you came out of nowhere, like an answered prayer
Like a soothing balm.

Trying to hide it, just like mama taught me.
Trying to fight emotions with logic.
Keep saying it will be okay, it will be okay.
Keep lying to yourself little girl. Keep saying that you're fine. It's bull shit and lies, just put on your mascara
God's got a sense of humor, for sure. 

Another valuable lesson learned? 

Never let your guard down. No one's actually worth it.
Always good to know 
Just how to disappear. life lessons, learned through fear

This connection wasn't fleeting

it was deeper, 

it had meaning

It took courage I never let you see

To let you get so close to me